The Litmus Test

This has been a hard blog post to sit down and write for a number of reasons, not the least of which being that not all of my readers share by faith in Jesus Christ, and so this may seem strange to them. But also because this subject touches on some underlying fears that I am not hitting the mark as a mother or as Christian.

It is not uncommon in the church setting to discuss persecution of Christians, both in history and in current times, from the earliest days of the church when the New  Testament was being written (when Nero set fire to Christians to light his garden parties) to modern day North Korea where "a Christian house church in Pyungsung province was discovered by authorities in May 2010 and three Christians were immediately sentenced to death because of the meeting. The other 20 Christians were sent to a labor camp" (Open Doors 2011 World Watch List).

As we pray for our borthers and sisters in Christ around the world undergoing persecution for their faith, conversations inevitably arise from the question "What if it were us in that situation?" Faced with the option of denying my Savior or losing my life, I'm honestly not sure how strong I would be. But I know that I would do my very best to be true to my faith, and that I am utterly convinced that this is the right thing to do.

Enter Lucy, and motherhood. What if the threat was not to me, but to my daughter? I cringe to think about it, but this question has been nagging at me for weeks. I know that the odds of this kind of dire situation actually happening are small. But this feels like the litmus test for my faith. Do I really value God more than any other person? Do I really believe He is big enough to take care of me and my family if I am obedient to His commands?

I had an epiphany last night. Or perhaps more accurately, a reminder, which has finally allowed me to sit down and put this into words. I am utterly convinced that God exists, that He created the universe we live in, and that Bible is His revelation of Himself to us, and tells us that God sees us as His children. And He loves Lucy more than I ever could. It's in His nature. He is infinite, and I am finite. He is perfect, and I am flawed. I could never love my daughter more He does, because I cannot love infinitely or perfectly. God is fully able to protect my family better than I can. There is no guarantee that He will act the way I think He ought to, but then I fall back on His infinite knowledge and wisdom.

This question of "What if it were Lucy?" has haunted me because I had lost sight of these truths. I still can't tell you what I would do if the situation arose. I pray with all my heart that it never does. But I also pray that if ever faced with choice, I would have the strength of conviction to be true to my Savior and the trust in His plan and goodness to be obedient to His commands.

As part of our church's daily Bible reading plan , I read this passage last night, in which Jesus is talking to His disciples on this very subject. How appropriate to all this processing.

Luke 12:4-11
4 “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5 But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

8 “I tell you, whoever publicly acknowledges me before others, the Son of Man will also acknowledge before the angels of God. 9 But whoever disowns me before others will be disowned before the angels of God. 10 And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.

11 “When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, 12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.”