And the Verdict Is...

So, we got to find out Pip's gender this week. :D

Since you're going to skip ahead and look for the answer before you read anything else anyway, I'll just tell you up front... It's a BOY! 

And to be completely honest with you, I wasn't as excited as I wanted to be when we first found out. My first reaction was "Oh no. This is WAY outside my comfort zone." Jacob, on the other hand, walked out of the doctor's office with a definite bounce in his step. :) 

We had plans to meet my family at Taco Bell after the appointment to collect Lucy (who had stayed with Nana during the ultrasound) and share the news. When we called them to let them know our timing, I heard Lucy crying pitifully in the background... and learned she had just thrown up. Twice. Ugh. 

Having no other plans for dinner, we decided to go ahead and meet quickly at Taco Bell anyway, since Chris and Amanda wanted to hear the news, too, and definitely did NOT want to come to our germy house. So, suffice to say, the anticipated news-sharing was less glamorous that we might have imagined, hurriedly eating Taco Bell (do you have any idea how guilty you feel as a parent eating in front of your child who can't eat because they'll throw it up?), showing ultrasound pictures from a distance (to prevent germ-sharing), and keeping a bowl in close proximity to Lucy just in case. 

So those feelings of being nervous about having a boy? I didn't get to process through them during the evening like I normally would have, so by the end of the night, I was laying in bed crying in my pillow... feeling saddest because I felt sad about the news (does that even make sense?).

But Jacob was a good listener. And I realized that feeling overwhelmed and at a loss wasn't entirely related to not know how little boys operate. It might also have something to do with our sick baby. :) And coming off a very busy weekend. And, and, and... 

While we talked, I also realized that my biggest fear has to do with my relationship to my son. I don't know what a boy needs or wants from his mother. I don't know when nurturing becomes smothering, or how to respect him while still being an authority figure. And then Jacob said, "It's okay. I'll help you figure it out." And the world got better. In my hormonal, tired, worried-about-Lucy, overwhelmed state, I just had never thought of asking my husband for insight on this. Duh. I'm going to blame baby-brain... and being blonde.

Of course, I don't know how to make dinosaur noises or car noises or build lego rocket ships or pretend to be a ninja either, but that's okay. That's Daddy's job. :)

So now, I'm happy to say, I'm feeling some genuine anticipation (along with a healthy dose of "Oh gee, this is going to be a big learning curve") about having a son. And I'm not thinking "Oh no" any more. :)

My dad sent me a quote from CS Lewis that seemed appropriate, and so I'll leave you with that. The afternoon and evening of finding out Pip's gender may not have been everything we planned, but it's real life, and certainly will be a memory for years to come!

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"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's "own" or "real" life.  The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day:  what one calls one's "real life" is a phantom of one's own imagination.  This at least is what I see at moments of insight:  but it's hard to remember it all the time."

The Letters of C. S. Lewis to Arthur Greeves

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P.s. If anyone knows any good books on raising sons, please let me know! I love to read and learn, but want to invest my limited reading time in books that come highly recommended, and not just things I find on Amazon. :)