Then and Now

Patrick at one day old

Lucy at one day old

So, I've been mother of two for almost four weeks now... and not a single, solitary blog post to show for it. This is not for lack of ideas... Every day presents itself with a new idea. But somehow, it's harder to sit down and actually put something on paper (er, pixels?) these days.

Which brings us to today's post, which I'm actually sitting down to write because Child #1 is spending the day with Nana and Daddad at the LA Fair. It's amazing what you can get done with just one child.*

*Clarification: One child in the blob stage... I have learned that one toddler is more than enough to keep your hands busy. ;)

I didn't have much of an idea about what to expect having a second child, and I can't help but make some comparisons as I adjust to having two little ones at home.

• Let's start with labor and delivery... Most of you know that Patrick's birth was extremely fast. I was in the hospital 13 hours in labor with Lucy (my water broke 6 hours before that). With Patrick, the whole thing was 4 hours. And let's not have any of this nonsense about "Oh, how nice you had an easy labor." It was fast... NOT the same as easy. While I appreciated having it over so quickly, I also missed some of the feeling of anticipation and celebration during early labor that I had with Lucy. It was surreal to go into labor and have a baby while most people were still finishing their night's sleep.
• Recovery was rough with Lucy, both physically and emotionally. I was prepared for pain in labor, but had no idea how much discomfort there would be in the days following... "Hobbling" is a good description. :) AND I had somehow injured my arm in labor, which made sleeping difficult. And the baby blues hit pretty hard in the first week. I remember feeling overwhelmed, helpless, like I was letting Lucy down as her mother... There were a couple of days that I was so sad I didn't even feel like eating ice cream. You know things are serious then. With Patrick? Apparently quick labor has a definite upside, because the physical recovery seemed almost miraculous relative to my prior experience. I was all psyched up for dealing with the same kind of pain I'd had before, and didn't quite know what to do with myself when it didn't happen. And the emotional ups and downs seemed to be worse in late pregnancy than they were right after giving birth.  They say every pregnancy is different... I guess "they" know what they're talking about.
• When I had Lucy, I was one of those mothers who took a long time to really start feeling love toward her child. Attachment was a slow process, and I expected that this was just part of my personality and would be the same with Patrick. For whatever reasons, I had a totally opposite experience this time. I was so overwhelmed with how much I loved Patrick in the first two weeks that I had a hard time thinking of anything else. Poor Jacob and Lucy got a little ignored, I think. I just wanted to sit and stare at Patrick and never put him down.
• I care more about germs now. Or more specifically, about avoiding germs. With Lucy, I didn't care if people visited while they were sick, if they washed their hands, and I certainly wasn't about to get stabbed in the arm with a needle just to get a silly flu shot. Now? Let's just say that experiencing what sick babies are like has changed my thinking. I  got a flu shot last week... for the first time ever as an adult. I felt so grown up.
• I don't remember feeling this exhausted in the first few weeks with Lucy. Of course, this might have something to do with having an active toddler. And the fact that Lucy and Patrick seem to be conspiring to take turns waking up during the night, so even when Patrick does sleep for a few hours at a time, I don't.
• Speaking of sleeping, it took me four weeks with Lucy to move the bassinet out of the bedroom to just outside the bedroom door, and another couple of weeks after that to move her to her own room. And it was agonizing... the worry that she would feel abandoned, wondering if she was okay (and still breathing)... Patrick was out of the bedroom in less than two weeks, and moved to his own room last night. And the worry that happened with Lucy has now become mostly just relief at having our own space back this time around (and not being awakened by adorable, but noisy, sleeping-baby-noises).

All in all, it's been better, and harder, than I anticipated it would be having two little ones. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, but it's one of the most fulfilling jobs I can imagine having. :)

Lucy at four weeks

Patrick at (almost) four weeks