On a positive note, I have made progress. According to Dena, my midwife, I'm now "solidly" at 3 cm dilated, and about 70-80% effaced (the last two appointments have been about 2.5 cm and 60% effaced). The baby has also moved from a -2 station to -1, for those who know what that means. :) Dena said I was doing extremely well for a first time mom, and that I could request to be induced anytime next week if I wanted (I'd rather avoid pitocin, so I don't care to be induced if I can avoid it, but it was a nice offer).
So, I have no right to feel blue tonight... But I do. I had hoped the baby would come this week. I don't know why I hoped this. I even tried not to think about it too much, and tried not to get my hopes up. But coming back home from the hospital this afternoon was still a disappointment, despite my best efforts, and now poor Jacob is dealing with a pouty and petulant wife. -sigh-
Dena offered, as usual during the appointment, to strip my membranes to help move things along, since she said I'm really ready anytime. I told her to go ahead if she thought there was a decent chance it might help move things along today, and she did. It didn't help. I felt some normal post-exam contractions, but they have been dying down this evening.
So, I got the "ready, set" part down... and that IS exciting. But I'm still stuck at "wait" instead of "go." I know this is every pregnant woman's experience. I know it would be unusual for the baby to come early, or even on time. I know that my experience has been easier so far than many other women's, and I'm grateful for that. I know that the "not knowing" is hard on everyone who goes through it. But I still seem to be stuck in this little personal pity party tonight. I'll get over it. The baby will be here soon, it will be wonderful and miraculous when it happens, and my body will do what it's designed to do when its ready.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go spend an exciting evening doing dishes and picking up the house.
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